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sum41 devil's lil' room
27 Januar it's already been a weekthis is the first week of the winter vacation..technically speaking,it's the first week of my vacations..bros&sises who r still stuck in school working on the exam papers..i'm sorry for that..geee
it's been AWFULLY LONG since i wrote sth down here last time.but now i'm back,coz i'm bored.the life pace now is incredibly slow and i'm breathless.everyday i hang out a lot coz i love stalking around the city with my friends..god knows how much i missed them!yet i'm still confused..i'm feeling trapped..why am i now having difficulty in adapting to living with my parents?
awwwwwwww..but i dont like living in dorm either...f**k it is it that i just love to complain about everything?i need to get down to finding a solution for this hystercially unsatisfied yet impossbile to feel content mood..i dont wanna be an annoying chick.
santa claus..i wanna live alone..i wanna eat whatever and whenever..i wanna hang out whenever and do whatever and no one asks me where the hell i'm heading...i wanna come back whenever i want to and find my own place completely deserted...plz..sometimes ppl just want to be alone!absolut isolation. 25 September 没有我爸，叫我怎么活！ 自己出来在北京念书念了一年，觉得自己是非常的牛，什么都能摆平，至于爸妈．．．ＨＭＭＭ．．．虽然不能说是缺钱花才会找他们，但是却很主观地认为我已经不需要他们的庇荫，他们需要为我做的，就是相信我，相信自己养了一个让自己省心省事的女儿．
结果发现．．．客观情况根本不是如此．国庆好好的本来兴高采烈打算去青岛旅行，考虑到车票难买，提前２０天就给一个据说很有信誉的票贩子打了一通电话，谈好了条件，做好了交易，然后继续沉浸在自己非常牛的幻想里．终于到了出票的日子，票贩子突然就人间蒸发了！不断地拨打这位黄牛大哥的电话，不是通话中就是暂时未能接通，后来干脆就不接，最后出大绝－－－关机！大哥啊我不是来追债也不是来讨旧情，用得着那么绝情吗！？
绝望之中，认识到自己肯定是因为人品问题，决定自我反省，然后发挥社会主义人民的伟大品质－－－自力更生，杀到火车站去．但是这是我的生活经验缺乏马上暴露了！原来火车票不是一天２４小时都有卖的，竟然不同的线路有不同的出票时间！oh damn how does the chinese railway system work?我可不能用一整天蹲在那里啃馒头喝矿泉水和它耗着．．．．郁闷啊ＭＤ．．．最后没办法，只能战战兢兢地打通了老爸的手机－－－＂喂！？＂登时让我心凉了半截，怎么如此不慈祥．．．等我一把鼻涕一把眼泪地把我买车票的多舛的经历向我爹叙述了一翻以后，还没有抒发我的个人评论和苦情－－＂我来给你弄去＂咔一声电话就断了，剩下嘟嘟的声音硬让我把话吞了回去．
过了不一会我爸又一个电话杀过来，罗罗嗦嗦了半天问我怎么不早点和他联系结果现在耽误了最好时机如何如何～谁想到中国铁路系统那么黑啊～然后结论是．．．也许能搞定．．．然后这个故事嘛，也就只能待续了 27 August sweat...i'm so damn lazy我忽略了我的SPACE有多久了？当我看到最后一篇日志竟然是初春时写的我简直无语了！现在都已经要夏末了（这一点在广州不适用但是现在我都是用北京的标准来划分）。这几天广州好不容易洒了几场雨，持续了大半个月的高温终于散去了一点点，某天听着街上大喇叭放着某北欧乐队的CD，那专属于冰雪里生长的人的澄澈嗓音竟让我隐隐约约听到了一丝秋意。是音符间仿佛水晶破裂的颤音吗？还是雨后清凉的夜风让我有了幻觉？
很难接受我快要失去夏天的感觉。虽然我一直知道时间在指缝间偷偷溜走，而很多时候我往往懵然不觉。但是季节的变换却真切得让你不能不忽视你一直被时间的车轮推着匆匆往前赶。时间的流逝带来了什么？外表的改变还是心理的变化？虽然我一直避免提及这个问题，但我清楚地意识到我的心理成熟程度和年龄已经开始不成正比了。的确，我不能生硬地停止自己的外表变成熟（或更坦白地说，衰老？），这种违反自然规律的做法只会使自己成为笑话。穿符合自己年龄的衣服，嘲笑14，5岁小孩的装扮，没错，这是我现在所做的事。但是，我却一直暗地里告诉自己保持青少年的思维方式……偷偷地看teen movies笑得乐不可支，然后一转身却和别人讨论dancer in the dark中沉重的道德问题；MP3里重复播放次数最多的是一首自己高中时最爱的teen song，但旁边却有一堆故弄玄虚的brit pop作陪衬。虚伪，分裂，但我接受不了作为成年人的身份。毕竟我也没有成年人的许多自由，但是至少在没有成为成年人前，我比现在快乐，真切地快乐，能感觉到脚下的土地是坚实的快乐。
过度怀旧是一种坏习惯，过度沉湎过去那就更罪无可恕。i'm guilty as charged.
30 März .........春天....小结.....1. 又降温了,大陆性气候比女人的心思更难捉摸.往往是气温是一条呈45度的直线不断上升,上升,突然心情不好便如绷极般直往下掉探至谷底,然后又心念一转,第二日艳阳高照,第三日又再春暖花开了.但春寒的确是令人觉得难以忍受,当昨晚第三次被冻醒时,不禁感叹李煜活的是不容易.我没有故国应犹在只是朱颜改的悲愁与心痛,但仅仅是五更寒就把我折磨地夜不成眠.气温快回升,阿门. 2. 北方的春天是异常的热闹.也许是因为冬季的过度萧索,生出了强烈的对比,才会使人生出"异常"这样的感叹.北方的植物往往是叶未出,花便先出来争奇斗艳了.在这儿,好花压根不需绿叶扶持,芳草陪衬.寂寞了一冬的眼,一看到些许鲜艳的颜色,便完全被吸引,被陶醉,被迷乱了. 首先吸引人眼球的总是玉兰花.那一树的枝条刚抖掉最新的一场春雪,树杈才空了没几天,就开出了酒杯般大小白雪般晶莹的花朵,纷纷的一树都是.若不是那在空气中弥漫这萦绕不绝的香气,还真让人有错觉树上又凭空挂上一树春雪.白玉兰登场不久,桃花也出来争春了.在一片粉雕玉琢的"香雪"中点点嫣红分外娇艳.还有迎春花,纵然没有玉兰的冰清玉洁,也没有桃花的娇美,但那鹅蛋黄的四角型花却分外的精神,处处提醒着人们春天的蓬勃与朝气. 3. 北方的春往往一开始就是花的海洋.但北方的春天的风却一点"护花使者"的风范也没有.杏花雨北方是没有的,杨柳风呢,是吹面即伤型的.每次走过花树下,看这狂风摇曳花枝,纷纷扬扬的下了一场花雨,我总忍不住心里感到一丝忧郁.毕竟北方能见到如此多的花也只有短短一段时日.好花不常开啊.每当玉兰的花瓣飘零而下时,我总会绕道而行,担心会踩到这洁白的花瓣,担上亵渎的罪名.干净地来,又在春泥里干净地化去,玉兰倒真像树上生出的雪. 4. 偶一抬头,突然一阵昏眩.阳光不知何时变得如此耀眼.地上的影子突然变黑了好多,在也不是冬天是那个苟延残喘的跟屁虫了,非常地精神抖擞,意气风发.我极爱呆坐看春天的天空.春天的天空仿佛变成了海,空中的一片片云就如白浪.此时的天不再那么高高在上,遥不可及.每当目光与那一片碧蓝相接,灵魂就好象摆脱了身躯的束缚,融入了那一片空灵,变成了无限大，无限宽,无限广.哪儿也无法将我囚禁,只要我还有一片天空,我就是这世上最自由自在的人.
03 März jealousyJealousy is one of those most essential feels of human emotion. No one can avoid jealousy,for this feeling demonstrates that we are made of flesh and bones,not weightless gas.
Jealousy always comes without any prelude. You may feel annoyed when you observe that your neighbor drving a brand-new fancy car pass your house, blaring the horns loudly; you may feel mistreated and curse your boss when your colleague's just been promoted; you may want to crash everything in a party when you see your boyfriend(or girlfriend) acting affectionately towards someone who he(or she) has just met. sometimes,jealousy is like slight electricity going through your nerves,merely causing you discomfort which disappear shortly afterwards.But it can also be violent,like a lightning,strucking your moset sensitive and unprotected part, causing you into a hysteric state.
Jealousy is natural,but on the other hand,not a healthy feeling. Someone may claim tht jealousy is a spur which makes us more competetive, nevertheless it is harmful in many ways. Firstly,medical research has indicated that people who are constantly perpelexed by jealousy are more likely to suffer from psycholical disturbance, and their chance of getting heart diseases is greater that thouse who are peaceful. Secondly, statistics reveal that more and more crimes are commited out of jealousy. Thirdly,but not the least importantly, jeaousy is one of those very chief culprits which destroys your social life and disturbs the peace of your soul.
The harm of jealousy cannot be overlooked. We should take a deep breath, reducing it to the slightest extent whenever it rises. Try to analyse and judge the situation objectively and justly. Confess your inferiority. Only in this way can jealousy become your spur which stimulates you to take the advantage in a competition.
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